Myths of Motherhood

Every now and then reality gives you a kick in the pants. A belief you held to be gospel is found to be very, very untrue. It's a cruel moment.
1) Those cute, little, blue bags that hold dirty diapers in public dispensed from the equally cute duck do nothing to control the smell of a pooper in a hot car.
2) Just because baby clothes are a tenth of the size of your clothes does not mean they are a ten times cheaper.
3) The race car buggies you longed to push around Publix with your mini racer actually move like tanks and cause casualities.
4) Just because you're sick does not mean your child will empathize or have a sweet day. In fact she'll probably do the opposite.
5) Just because your child is sick does not mean she'll have a slow day or react kindly to any empathy you shower upon her.
6) Dressing your child in purple or pink will not lessen old people calling her a boy, at 2 and a half years old. I'm sure this works in reverse as well.
7) Just because one Walmart gives free cookies does not mean all WM do. Try explaining that one to the cookie monster.
8) Just because you trimmed your child's fingernails three days ago does not mean they haven't grown exponentially to talon length.
9) The crayons Publix gives are washable, right? My blue and green striped carpet would disagree. Seriously, throw them away NOW.

But alas, some things you just have to learn for yourself.